Words

 When I first started doing my observations Olivia's vocabulary was not what it is today. (I've noticed that Olivia says more words. She says, mom, stop, no, look and ouch. She tries to say other words too but if she can't say it she just points at it.) Field notes 11/8/14. ( I wonder what my first words were. They were probably bad words. My mom said I started talking around the same age as Olivia.) Field notes 11/9/14.

 It kind of takes me by surprise when I hear her little voice say "cereal" from below me. It makes me look down at Olivia in shock, but I feel proud that she keeps picking up new words. Now that she knows more words Olivia could get our attention much easier. She can tell us what she wants easier. It's like she has more power.

 I say that Olivia has more power because words can be the most powerful and influential tool that we have in society today. For example, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." is something that we all learned as young children. But what about all the young lives that have been lost over words? The same words that won't ever hurt us are the same words that caused many cyberbully victims to take their own lives. If that doesn't make words powerful then I don't know what does. The truth is that words can hurt. Words can heal. Words can kill. If the world would only realize that if we didn't take words for granted the world we live in would be a much better place. Since the beginning of time the written word has been something that we've cherished, but as technology and social media expand we have begun to forget how important words are. I think it's time that we start to go back to our roots before it is too late. 

Is it right?

 When it comes to my little Olive I'm a huge sucker. But Saturday morning I wasn't in the mood for her tantrums at all. Olivia had been whining and crying all morning and when it was time for her to eat she pushed me past my boiling point. Olivia wouldn't eat her food because she wanted soda, but she had to eat her food first, so what did she do? She threw her food off the table and all over the floor and demanded for soda. A sudden rage fell over me and I punished her by giving her a good spanking on her butt. It was the first time that I ever spanked her and I felt like a complete jerk. I only smacked her on the butt once and that was enough to make me feel like the most horrible person on earth. But why?

  As a child I was always spanked if I didn't listen so there is a part of me that says it's okay that I spanked Olivia. But there is a part of me that says just because I was hit and my parents were hit it's still not okay to ever put your hands on a child no matter the reason. I couldn't decide which one is right so I asked my parents, grandma and sister what they thought. 

 "Yes, when words don't get through to a kid then as a last resort you have to hit them" is what my mom said. 

I then asked my dad the same question; Is it okay to hit your kids?

"It's alright to hit your kids to a certain extent because if you just beat them then you're not teaching them discipline, you are just making them fear you and that's not parenting."

 "Yes, but you should only hit them on the butt" is what my grandma said.

 "When Olivia just doesn't listen after all the yelling I do to try to get her to do what I say I just have to spank her so she knows that I'm serious." 

  They all said that hitting your child was alright to do as a last resort and only to a certain point. Being Mexican, I expected them to say that because everyone in my family including cousins uncles aunts and everyone in between was hit as a child. Then I thought to myself, what would a white woman say? What would a black woman say? Would the white woman say that it's never okay to hit a child even though her son cusses at her and disrespects her? What would the black woman say? 

  I don't think it matters what color your skin is or what family you were raised in. People all over the world have their own ways of punishing and disciplining their children. I don't plan on being a parent anytime soon, and that makes me really happy because I wouldn't know what to do. Do I spank this kid or take the risk of him walking all over me because I never physically punished him? This is the challenge that parents face with their children and I feel bad for them. I gave my sweet little Olive one slap on the butt and I felt like scum so I can only imagine what they go through. 

Touched

"Touched by An Angel"

We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.

I can remember being so anxious waiting for Olivia to finally come into my life physically. I say physically because for the nine months that my sister was pregnant, Olivia was already in our lives, she just wasn't running around reaping havoc yet. For nine long months I tried to imagine what my life would be like with a baby around all the time. I couldn't blast my music throughout the house anymore or I couldn't leave anything on the floor that could hurt the baby. What I didn't notice until now was that I couldn't stay away from Olivia. 

"Where's Olivia" would be my first words as I walked into the house everyday because I would miss her small fat face all day at school. I would tell all my friends about my new niece and how beautiful she is. While other kids were talking about their new kicks or their new girl, all I could talk about was Olivia. Olivia, Olivia, Olivia. She made me a different person. I could cause harm or damage to anyone or anything out in the streets, but when I came home to her I couldn't hurt a fly. I wanted to be gentle and at peace like she was. 

Love came into my life in the form of a small, curly haired baby and called itself Olivia. I've said it before that Olivia has more of an impact on me than I have on her. This little girl has reached out and grabbed a hold of me by the heart and won't let go. It's like when her pure little fingers wrap around one of mine we are both pure, we are both angels.

                                                                        
                                   Work cited

Angelou, Maya. "Touched by angel". Famouspoetsandpoems.com. N.p N.d, Web. 26 October 2014.
 

Whatever it takes

  I've said it before that Olivia can be a brat sometimes, especially when she wants something. She will only ask once before she goes full rampage mode. Olivia throws herself on the floor and cries as if somebody is killing her. (Field notes 10/17) This little girl will cry, scream and even growl to get what she wants. She is seriously acting like her life is over if she doesn't get a chip. (Field notes 10/18) I admire Olivia's efforts though. She will beg for chips like she'll never have another chance to taste them again, she'll cry for her mommy like she won't ever see her again and she'll make sure that you know not to touch her blanket. Olivia acts like she can't live without these things. She wants them so so bad that she'll do whatever it takes to get them. As I watch her I think about how close wrestling season is and how excited I am to be on the mat again. I've always told myself that I would do whatever it takes to win. Now, obviously crying and screaming wouldn't help me win, but if like Olivia I act like its life or death then maybe I'll have more success. If I really want success then I have to do what's necessary. Keep my grades up, stay out of trouble and leave it all out on the mat. To me that doesn't seem hard because I am doing what it takes to be great. I love this sport and I will treat it like so. Honestly, I think Olivia teaches me more than I teach her sometimes. Watching Olivia makes me realize that if I love something then I should strive for it. I shouldn't let anyone deny me. I should scream and kick and fight for it. She wants junk food and I want to win, but we both have the same attitude. We are going to get what we want no matter what. We all have a passion or something we can't live without and we should all cherish it. We should all cry and beg, kick and scream, throw ourselves on the floor and whatever it takes to get it.

Monkey see, Monkey do

Being Olivia's uncle I feel the need to make her happy and give her whatever she wants no matter what. If my sister doesn't want to give her a cookie because she won't eat her food I'll come along and sneak her a cookie. Does that make me a bad influence? If that doesn't, then the fact that she says bad words because of me probably does. I know it's bad, but I just can't help it. Call me immature if you want, but I find babies saying bad words hilarious. Even if I didn't cuss around Olivia she would still pick up bad habits. This little girl is why they say "Monkey see, monkey do". Anything I do she will want to imitate and in a way I feel proud. I feel proud that she likes me enough to watch me and do as I do. I wish I could be the best role model for her, but I know that if I pretend to be someone I'm not then that's not helping her. I know Olivia will grow up to be a good little girl so I don't worry to much when she flicks me off. I just smile and do it back to her.

Curiosity

Not only when I'm doing my observations, but almost every single time that I have something in my hand I notice that Olivia wants to see it. If there is something in a room that catches her attention she will grab it fast and run as fast as she can out of the room. If you are eating something she will want some and if you are leaving the house she wants to go too. She wants to see everything she can, she wants to know like you know, she wants to do what you do. She will  grab something shes not supposed to, she will drop something and break it and drive my mom a bit crazier. Grandma will tell her not to do that and Olivia will cry. But Olivia can't help it she is just too curious. Considering that she doesn't cry for more than like 2 minutes it seems as if the scoldings are worth it for her. She learns that she's not suppose to do certain things through a trial and error type way. Often times she has errors, but in the future she will know not to break anymore of Grandmas dishes or to touch something that will burn her.

 As I write down observations in my notebook, Olivia notices and sticks her hands out for me to hand it to her. I feel like this would be good for my blog, so I give her pen and let her write in it. Scribbles was all I got.

Her scribbles had me thinking, what if I gave her my notebook every time she asked for it? Just like if you gave someone the same task over and over again they would get better at that task. So, would Olivia get better at her scribbles? Will she draw me beautiful pictures or write me beautiful poems? There is a chance that Olivia's curiosity will draw her to something that she will love and never want to let go or give back. She will want it forever and find happiness through whatever it is. If we as people weren't curious about the world around us would we ever know what our passions or hobbies are? I feel like we should all go out into what we don't know or try something we never have. Who knows we might just love it, but we must be a bit curious.

Biggest Olive I've seen.

The biggest thing that's probably going to change in Olivia over the next two months is here size. I started my observations by measuring her height and weighing her. Olivia comes in at 24 pounds and 33 inches tall, and with those numbers shes the biggest Olive I've ever seen. My nights during the week are never a bore with her in the house, but they"re not always pleasant either. This little girl can bring lots of laughs and joy, but she can also make the biggest messes and drive the most skilled and hardened babysitter crazy. My sister tells Olivia that she has a stalker (meaning me) and Olivia does this weird laugh like she knows whats going on. I can't wait for her to start saying more words. I can tell that this project is going to be something I'll show to her when she is older.